My journey from a teenage wife to a self-published author and the struggles along the way
Introduction:
The first time I saw him, even though I knew that the idea of love at first sight wasn’t real, I felt an undeniable urge to get to know him. He was performing with his band at our high school talent show during our 10th-grade year. At first, I wasn’t paying much attention, but then it became clear that the sound of his guitar, swinging low enough to give him an air of carefree coolness, wasn’t coming through. I’m still not sure what happened that day; all I know is that there was something wrong with his amplifier. To be honest, I’m still confused about the difference between an amplifier and a speaker, but back then, and even now, I didn’t care. He was mesmerizing!
I wish I could say that I still see him as the cool, larger-than-life person I once idolized, but after nearly 40 years together, that is no longer the case. I still love him and cannot imagine my life without him, but the excitement and butterflies I used to feel, the shortness of breath and tingles throughout my body, have faded. In their place, I sometimes see a person or even us as a couple that I don’t recognize anymore.
I understand that this change stems from the many years of troubles, struggles, and the challenges that life brings. These tribulations motivated me to start writing, and I recently finished some of my books and stepped out of my comfort zone to self-publish them. This journey led me to create this blog. I’ve discovered that I genuinely enjoy writing, and it provides a therapeutic outlet that I didn’t know I needed.
During my time as a high school counselor, before I retired due to a severe fall, I often heard that I should write about my experiences. I never considered it until I had our son. When we learned about his bipolar disorder, I realized I needed to share my story; not just for myself but for all the mothers out there who feel torn in so many directions that some days they might as well crawl into a hole and never come out.